Anytime I aim for some lofty goal, especially one that I feel is particularly tied to my spiritual well-being, I expect to meet some difficulty. I assume that some days will require skilled maneuvering to stay on track, I anticipate that at least once I will fall flat on my hiney begging the Lord for help. More of my life-altering experiences have occurred at my whit's end than anywhere else. So, I knew this was going to be an actual challenge. What I didn't know is that, as Providence would have it, the testing would begin early.
I haven't even made to Day 1 - this is Day 0 - and I am frustrated with Hubby Dear. We have had a misunderstanding/disagreement/argument that we somehow cannot reach a resolution on. I am left feeling a irritated, frustrated, and oh so right. All of these things make tomorrow morning's task appear arduous, none more so than the last on the list. However, I am determined to prevail.
This is what has played in my head:
1) Being right and being a kind, encouraging wife are not mutually exclusive qualities (code for "I want to justify my self-righteousness. I really like being right.")
2) Even though I feel right I was probably wrong in either an attitude or action (code for 'Okay Lord, I probably haven't been perfect either. But I'm still right.")
3) Why is being right so important anyway? (code for "What is wrong with me? This is ridiculous. Wow, I'm prideful.")
Hm. Number 3 got me.
I can't answer it.
My husband is a fantastic, hardworking man who loves more than I ever thought possible. He is thoughtful, does housework, fills my car with gas, goes shopping with me because he knows it makes me happy... the list goes on. Being right just doesn't compare. Suddenly (and through prayer all day at work) this feels easier to let go of. It really doesn't seem important.
Excuse me, I have a husband I need to go find and kiss.